The Opening Space Cha Cha
Sunday, August 1, 2010 at 01:08PM I have a confession to make. I get overwhelmed by my stuff. I mean this both literally and figuratively at times (and really who doesn't?), but in this case I'm talking about literally. Set me down in front of a computer with Internet connection, ask me to write, or research, or pick up the phone and I'm golden. Take me to a mixer and I connect the dots, you can even ask me to speak in public and I have no worries. But about ten years ago, when the headaches became an almost full time gig, my ability to clean and organize in a timely way seemed to exit stage left. Suddenly my belongings felt very heavy, and unruly, and just too much.
It's not quite as bad as it was, but it's still a real challenge, a tough challenge. I can no longer whip an apartment clean in under three hours. Re-organizing a closet, or an entire room feels akin to scaling a mountain in flip flops. Now I have to break down cleaning and organizing into little bite sized chews if I want to make progress, and as I was reminded last week when I decided to face old boxes from the past and see what I could edit down, it is often a dance of forward and back, not just forward.
In the process of facing my past I made matters worse in my small studio, which I have yet to deal with. It was a worthy endeavor. It inspired me take on compiling and pitching a book concept I've been chewing on for almost ten years. I'm just about ready to jump back into the dating and sex advice/conversation arena again, but nonetheless I'm left with a mess. I want to get it cleaned up, I do. I can envision a beautifully clean studio that makes me smile when I open the door, fragrant with fresh lilies from the farmer's market, but so far the vision and the reality don't match up.
This weekend I decided to break things down into even tinier little bite sized chews. For now I'm ignoring the boxes with my past to deal with. Instead I cleaned my vanity area between my main closet and bathroom. I washed all of my dusty perfume bottles and used rubbing alcohol to clean off much handled make up containers. Then I moved to my medicine chest and laid down new contact paper on the shelves.
I'm hoping I'll feel inspired to clean the rest of the bathroom as well, but I'm not sure yet. I've learned that my focus and energy for these kinds of projects appears and disappears on a dime and I'm getting better about beating myself up for it because the mental chastising did nothing towards accomplishment.
So now I'll try this new micro way, I'll do my best to make it fun, to make it a dance and see what that accomplishes. I do know, I do own, that when you want new positive things to come into your life you really do need to create new space for them - mentally, emotionally and physically.
So what if you're great at being neat and tidy, but you'd like something else good to come into your life? Say you want a new romance? This I'm actually quite good at, and this is yet another reason I need to get my abode under control.
My advice? Think of what would make that new person comfortable in your abode. Put yourself in their shoes. It might sound silly, but for women small moves like switching to a disposable razor that's blue instead of pink, and making sure you have non-perfume scented soap in your shower.
I tell men to start actually stocking their refridgerator with more than beer and cocktail olives, to check the state of bath towels, kitchen towels and remembering to stock toilet paper - again sounds silly, I know, but making these kinds of shifts signal to yourself and the universe that you're ready now - same as really and truly letting go of someone who you know is not good for you. Need more convincing? I just stumbled onto Heather Havrilesky's Rabbit Blog and love her post on "Time to Dump that Man-Child."
Reader Comments (4)
Well put, my dear! For me, for our little familia, it's dedicating five bags a week to be donated or trashed (when we can). I take a break for a month or two, then get back to doing it again. The Closet: if it's an item I haven't worn in over a year (with exception of my dear Nana's (rest her spirit) hand-made jackets from the 60's & 70's) then it's bye, bye, off to Goodwill, for it is of 'goodwill' to give. Xoxoxoxo
Leanna, what a great way to work it! I love this idea - and of course hanging on to that which was Nana's. From my Nana it is several pairs of her gloves. And I love that you give yourself permission to take a break from it as well.
why not just pitch it all? sounds as if your headaches have tuned into something, are reacting to something Not-You. seriously: f*ck memories and the things they hide in. all lies i tell you lies! :)
I love the "Not You" concept. Thank you!
A lot of it is paper work because I've been a 1099 for 10 years and have to keep receipts. Oh receipts! Is it 6 years? 7? Ack!
But other stuff, the clothes I don't wear, the electronic gadgets I don't even remember what they were a part of, the sheets for a different bed from another time because gosh maybe someday I'll have that sized bed again and might need sheets for guests! Too much, yes, it's got to go!