Life is Too Short - Let's Make It Friendly First

This has been a week of very sad news, of the death of my best friend's brother from cancer, and of hearing that a former colleague's darling wife is dealing with the return of breast cancer in an incurable form. It has also been a week of exciting possibilities, but possibilities that might punch some of my old buttons, and tempt me into old behavior patterns that just aren't for my best (a workaholic beyond beyond).

So I have been pondering the term "Maitri" which is what I named this site after.

I stumbled upon the idea of Maitri (which I have been pronouncing incorrectly with a long "a" and instead it's pronounced with a long "i") or unconditional friendliness (especially towards oneself) via the writings of the American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron who I discovered via either More or O Magazines almost ten years ago now. I can't remember which magazine now, but I do remember that the tone and quality of Chodron's writing captured my imagination right from the start.

She named her books arresting titles like, "When Things Fall Apart" and I was right in the middle of my life falling apart. I was just divorced, I was suffering migraines almost daily, and I was trying to deal with ill health and find a career that would be flexible and creative enough for me while I was doing so, while working some very soul killing part time jobs (but where I met some terrific people). I settled on being a publicist, and marketing, because I love to promote talented people and great ideas, but it's been a long road to get to where I am now and I'm sure I wouldn't be here, working with fascinating people, and projects I love, if it weren't for running into the concept of Maitri.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that I can't be at my best, I can't be my most creative and intuitive and friendly in my approach to working with others if I can't be first friendly towards myself. And I find that I need to be at my best because public relations and marketing are very emotional subjects - so many of us are entrepreneurs and when we move to promote our businesses we are in essence promoting ourselves, and boy, that's when a lot of monsters and insecurity come out of the box. That's when a lot of hand holding and focus and friendliness is called for on the side of the marketing and pr consultants like myself, and I can't well tell you to allow yourself to be all you can be, and promote yourself to the right audience if I can't do that for myself.

Oh sure, one can fake being at ones best for awhile, but when you're running on empty, very quickly we find there's an edge in our voice, and we begrudge others our time and ideas. And the more demanding one's role, the more friendly one must be to oneself. I'm pretty sure our President has made peace with himself and decided he's just fine. One cannot fake that kind of cool and genuine interest and curiosity in the well being of others without it.

But I don't want to go on and on here, I'd rather introduce you to Pema herself. Here she is explaining Maitri in her own words far more succinctly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s-rRMUl04I